the best 8 years of my life..

Dear Papa..

As the years go by, I stop and think about all the memories we've made, the good times we've shared and the love between us that keeps growing..

You are not only my wonderful husband, but my best friend and soul mate.. you are caregiver, caretaker..

I thank you so much for what you've done to me and our son..

Thank you for loving me, loving all of me..

Thank you for making me a hi-tech junkie.. *LOL*

For your encouragement and thoughtfulness..

For sticking with me through all my messes in the house, and everywhere..

Thanks for those kisses on my forehead,

Your phone calls everyday..

Most of all, our son..

Thank you for being a terrific father..

You're the best 8 years of my life..

I love you Babe, more than words, more than life..

and I'm so proud to be your wife..

xo

I am what I am

Sometimes, I made the wrong decision, and I regret it..

but I took them as lesson in life and learning experience..

Sometimes, I pretend I can't hear what people talk about me..

because I know,

it's a fool, to believe everything I hear..

I'm human, like anybody else..

not perfect, never been perfect..

Sometimes, I might bore you,

you won't laugh at my joke,

I can't even make you smile..

Sometimes, I might hurt you,

I'm the one who'd cause the most pain..

and I mess things up..

But, I am what I am..

I make mistakes, but that don't mean I'm no good

I just need a little understanding,

I'll do the right thing, and chasing my dream..

things from the old man

he don't have much a pair of hard hands..

his hands are not as strong as before..

his greasy hands are the life he demanded..

he's not in need in direction,

he just chose his own path..

and by the way he walked and worked..

he teaches, life is not about winning..

it's all about believing..

*terinspirasi dari tukang bakso yang lewat rumah tiap jam 11 malem, orangnya udah tua banget dan kurus* T__T

between your heart and mine

I know you'll always be beside me..

until the very end of time..

you promised me that..

things sometimes come out so wrong..

but I don't know how, you always understand..

you always here, as a very best friend of mine..

you'll smile when I smile..

making me happy is everything you want to be..

and if I cry a single tear..

you promise you'll cry too..

and you'll always feel all the pain I do..

I'm nothing without you..

I need you in my life..

I really do..

another stormy mind

I remember when those trees tossing for the storm..

swirled their branches for the whirlwinds..

they tried to catch the stars of the black sky above..

I saw them bowed in glorious feeling for the rain..

singing, surrounded by the lightning..

but stars had gone too far..

though their song never stopped,

they were just cracked by the roaring thunders..

they teared me down..

seemed like the world didn't care that much if they live or die..

I see those trees are now silent..

I hear nothing,but can't be-erased memories in my head..

mistakes and regrets, things too great to hide..

my dark side still guides..

clinicoustic

wondrous mystical mind

I ever wished to rise...

ah, dream!!

they're up there..

pretty clouds of my cold dreary day..

they come floating into my mind..

no longer to carry rain and storm..

but to add color to my sky...

trees and rivers, grass of the mountain..

clouds and winds, stars and the sky..

they leave impression of the soul of mine..

they teach me lessons of life than I've ever learned before..

sickness and broken heart,

like the dark heavy clouds in the sky..

I just need to let the water off to make it relieved..

and the new sun will be shining so bright..

I know there are so many paths to the top of life..

but I believe, one day no more thing will ever stop me

from achieving my goal..

nothing on earth ever..

mountains and hills will be low..

the rough places will be straight..

I've learned..

that it's not the problems I defeat but myself..

it's not any mountain I conquer but my own passion..

and tomorrow will be my day..

when I see that mountain waiting..

I'll just get on my way...

clinicoustic

the grass's mellow lullaby

the silence here stands beside me, it guides me.. there was something about being lonely for me.. I'm making sense of it.. thing I can't be with it together.. thing I've lost, or thing I'll never have.. I like to think of flowers, grass and trees.. they sing me a lullaby.. I'm laying on the grass.. through the night, with a light from above.. and feel my dream I dream alone.. realize it, it was just a dream.. grass is always a wonderful metaphor for loneliness.. being alone, kissed by the rain.. let it wash away my pain.. the terrible winds sweep away my emptiness.. things in my life appear and disappear.. they remind me that I'm not completed in myself.. I don't want to be alone.. don't wanna be left alone.. all I understand, grass, wind and the sky.. grass never stop playing their song for me.. wind blows my sickness away from me.. and, I'll keep my mind as bright and clear as the sky.. loneliness spurs me to find something to live for.. it makes me resign to it, and get great enough thing to die for.. clinicoustic

My Son's Superdad

Sometimes, I think my husband is so amazing,

That I don't know why he's with me..

Sometimes, I think I just make his life harder,

But then if I make him happy,

I'm just everything I want to be..

When I look back at how I used to be in love with him,

And just I know, I still crazy about him..

At the end of my life,

Thing I will regret is time I spent without him..

I just wanna be with him till I die..

I love you Papa Alif..

Clinicoustic

Flower is Always Good Metaphor about Life

My Hard-Coated Unbreakable Woman

My Mom and me

You're not a perfect mother, you will never be..

I'm not a perfect daughter either, and I will never be..

But, you will always be the truest friend of mine, ever..

When I look back at my childhood,

I would just thank you for everything..

Mostly, for your love and devotion..

You're the never ending song in my heart of comfort and happiness..

And we are the best daughter and mother we would ever be..

I miss you Mom...

Tabalong, October 10, 2010

I'm Completely Comfortable With Him

I can't say anything about this..

Meeting him was my fate,

Becoming his friend then was just a choice..

But then, he said he loved me,

I know that was beyond his control..

But taking him, was the best thing I've done in my life..

He's the guy, who always calls me beautiful,

He's the guy, who always lay on the grass with me,

Then lead me to his chest to listen to his heartbeat..

He’s my guy, who kisses my forehead,

Who holds me tight on my waist and whispers “I love you too much to let go!”

He always try to show me off to the world that I’m just beautiful just the way I am..

He always reminds me of how much he cares and how lucky I am to have him..

I am lucky and I’m so proud to wave you and say “That’s him, my guy..!!”

I miss it, when we're laughing while kissing..

Tabalong, October 09, 2010

I was that Caterpillar..

As far as my past..

There were nothing but a lonely place...

I was isolated, couldn't go far but could always just dream...

I just had to do things all alone..

My old town of the old times, couldn't never be gone from my mind...

My blank wall, my rough draft were my only friends..

I lived with the imaginations I created..

Describing loneliness things of my mind...

But now..

I know who I am..

I don't worry about anything anymore..

I'm not scared about the thing anymore...

I just know, here comes the day..

I'm a butterfly now..

I have wings to flap, so I no longer have to stay...

I've been waiting for so long for this day..

The day, I will fly away...

Butterfly, fly away..!!

I'm taking those dreams, and I'll make them all come true...

Far away from home...

When I got nothing good about this town

I just need to close my eyes,

Then feel myself transported back to the town where I was raised...

I just need to imagine

I was that innocent girl, playing my doll, laughing with my sister..

For this few minutes, I live a life of my childhood adventures, imaginations..

I kinda miss my hometown..

Miss my parents, my sister, my grandmother..

I miss the house I lived in..

I miss those best times..

The time I worried nothing.. but wonders and laughter..

Now, years later, at this place where I live..

I just can't wait another day to come home..

My old town, my home, the place I always would come back..

I really miss the smell of your soil when it rains...

.: je t'aime :.