hidup itu pilihan

itu jawaban dari Mama Fio, saat saya bilang saya gak mau memaksakan takdir dari Allah.. saya terus mikir dan berhenti menjahit.. saya bilang "tar ya, hati ama pikiranku lagi ke mana2.. daripada ntar jahitanku gak rapi, mending aku diem dulu.."

there are some annoying thoughts inside my head lately.. dan temen2 saya tahu what it was all about..

saya tadi lagi menyanggah "tuduhan2" temen2 saya yang mengatakan saya adalah tipe orang yang gak bisa dengan mudah melupakan masa lalu.. ew, basi banget ya? or, ABG banget ya.. hahaha..

mungkin saya gak benar2 lupa, tapi gak melupakan gak berarti gak mengikhlaskan atas apa yang terjadi dalam kehidupan kita'kan.. walaupun dalam hati, saya sering juga meragukan diri saya sendiri, hehehe bilangnya ikhlas tapi kayaknya omong doang.. tapi manusiawi kok ya.. :)

saya memang gak bisa dengan mudah berpikir, when one door closes, another door opens.. dulu, dulu banget, when one door closed, saya gak mau melihat another door, ibaratnya.. saya maunya the closed door will be reopened one day.. tapi kenyataannya, saya emang harus menerima bahwa pintu yang udah tertutup itu, gak akan pernah bisa terbuka lagi untuk saya..

letting go of thing, accepting of what happened and moving on.. that's the key.. walaupun tiga hal itu gak semudah dikatakan, it was really hard to go about letting go and moving on.. I fought so hard to hold on thing I wanna have but I can't.. the only thing I must do was letting go.. itu dulu..

tapi Alhamdulillah, yang seperti itu udah lewat.. sekarang saya udah lebih bisa mengikhlaskan sesuatu yang emang saya gak bisa dapatkan.. even I hate it so much, wanting thing that I can't have it.. tapi saat saya kembalikan semua hanya pada Allah, things go smoothly, and are amazing..

jadi apapun itu, pilihan atau bukan pilihan semua yang terjadi dalam hidup saya hanya terjadi atas ijin dari Allah (yang baik-baik pastinya ya..) kalo yang jelek2 si mau2nya saya sendiri.. hihihihi..

thing is, there's no need to miss something from your past, wasting time.. xoxo

my love story "we're no longer just friend"

juli 2003, saya diajakin temen saya mungki ke kontrakan temennya, joko, sekalian dikenalin maksudnya, karena sebelumnya mungki ini sering banget nyeritain tentang temennya yang satu ini yang katanya jago maen gitar.. dan kesan pertama saya, pas ngeliat sosok "mas joko" ini, orangnya cool banget ya, saking cool-nya, pas saya dateng, cuma senyum dikit aja terus lanjut gitaran lagi.. udah gitu, begitu nyampe saya langsung ditinggal sama mungkinya (gak inget ke mana) jadilah saya setengah ngentang di situ dan gak tau mau ngomong apa..

setelah itu kami jadi akrab dan sering ngumpul bareng di kontrakan mas joko ini, kami berempat sama temen kami satu lagi, Fajar.. dan beberapa kali saya ngajakin temen saya si nofa.. kadang di rumah saya juga.. kami sempet bikin band kacang (hahahaha) dengan saya sebagai vokalis yang juga kacang.. dan sempet ikut mengacaukan acara tahun baruan di lp3i.. (sebenernya ada beberapa foto2 kami pas manggung, tapi gak akan saya share, karena saya dulu culun bangeeeeet hahahaha)..

pas saya kuliah gak niat di sob, saya sering dapet tugas yang aduh-otak-saya-kurang-nyampe.. saya biasanya minta tolong sama temen saya mungki, tapi sama mungki seringnya dilimpahkan ke mas joko ini.. alasannya, kalo masalah it, joko lebih ngerti.. yo wes,dengan sangat gak enak ati tapi diterusin aja, saya sering banget minta tolong mas joko ini untuk ngerjain tugas2 saya.. tadinya minta tolong diajarin aja, tapi diajarin tetep aja gak mudeng akhirnya lebih sering dia yang ngerjain hahaha.. asli orang ini baik banget, gak pernah lo sekalipun dia gak bisa atau gak ada kalo saya mintain tolong.. lama2 jadi lebih sering jalan ama nongkrongnya ber2 aja.. mungki ama fajar sibuk kerja (waktu itu mungki ama fajar emang udah kerja, mereka udah lulus kuliah di lp3i, sementara suami saya masih kuliah di stiki malang)..

tapi pas jalan sama mas joko ini saya masih biasa aja si, gak punya perasaan yang aneh2, bukannya apa si, gak pede.. hehehe apalagi mas joko ini juga udah punya gebetan, anak kuliahan juga, jadi ya gak usah ngarep yang lain2 de, dibantuin ngerjain tugas aja udah bersukur banget.. eh, tapi kalo dia lagi nyeritain cewe gebetannya itu, agak panas2 gimana gitu juga si.. cemburu kali ya, tapi gak mau mengakui.. hahaha

saya sama mas joko cukup lama berteman, bisa saya bilang saat itu, mas Joko adalah sahabat saya.. walaupun seringnya saya adalah sahabat yang suka merepotkan aja, tapi dia gak pernah tuh kelihatan ogah2an membantu saya.. sampe belakangan dia suka sms yang isinya cukup bikin saya mengernyitkan alis, bingung antara orang ini serius apa becanda, soalnya kita emang suka becandaan terus..

suatu kali dia sms saya bunyinya gini "sepi, coba ada kamu di sini mar.." oh my.. saya langsung melambung, tapi sebentar kemudian dia sms lagi, "selamat anda masuk kopaja" (acara macam spontan waktu itu ditayangin di rcti) walah.. ngerjain aja to.. agak kecewa si.. tapi itu jadi sms macam gitu yang pertama, setelah itu sering dia sms yang isinya macam2 gitu..

sampe suatu hari, saya kayaknya harus ngomong serius de sama orang ini, apa maksud sms2 dia yang begitu itu.. ya udah sekalian mau nebeng ngerjain tugas juga waktu itu.. seperti biasa dia lagi ngulik gitarnya dream theater, saya disuruhnya masuk, tapi langsung dicuekin, dia asyik lagi sama gitar listrik dan efeknya.. saya jadi bingung juga mau ngomong apa.. akhirnya diem2an lamaaa banget, saya cuma ngeliatin aja dia maen gitar..

saya jadi ngerasa gak enak, jangan2 saya mengganggu lagi.. akhirnya saya ngomong, "kayaknya kamu lagi bt buanget, aku ngganggu ya? aku pulang aja ya jok.." kata saya dengan aga2 gak enak ati.. tapi saya malah ditahan sama dia "jangan, kamu jangan pulang" katanya sambil nahan saya biar tetep duduk di sebelahnya.. bingung'kan, dicuekin tapi gak mau ditinggal..

akhirnya saya beranikan nanya "apa si maksud sms2 kamu jok?" duh, lamaaaaaaaaa banget njawabnya.. terus dia bilang "becanda.." "ooh, I see" saya gak terlalu kaget si kalo dia cuma becanda, emang biasanya becanda.. tapi agak sedih juga si waktu itu, jujur aja saya ngarepin jawaban yang gak seperti itu.. saya gak terlalu inget apa aja yang kami obrolin waktu itu.. tapi kayaknya saya terus nanyain soal isi sms2 dia yang cukup bikin saya bingung.. akhirnya dia bilang "iya aku suka sama kamu, cinta sama kamu..."

big WOW saya, kaget banget dari ujung kepala sampe jari kaki.. dan saya inget banget saya melongo lama banget sampe mas joko bilang "selamat anda masuk spontan.." lagi.. ini yang bener yang mana si? tapi akhirnya dia bilang lagi kalo dia serius suka sama saya, tapi gak enak sama temen kami si Mungki, karena selama ini saya deket juga sama mungki.. terus saya nanya sama dia "terus mau kamu apa Jok?" dia bilang "aku pengen kamu jadi pacar aku, pengen kita jadian.."

saya bilang "ya udah kita jalan aja, aku'kan bukan pacarnya mungki.." hahaha.. ya begitu de, hari itu kami jadian, dan selama berteman dengan mas joko ini, rasanya baru hari itu saya lihat dia tuh bahagia banget.. and we live happily ever after, and never looked back with regret.. :D

such a fun memory with my best buddies.. (taken with my scooper duper old lomo camera)

dalil dan keceng kucing suami saya dulu.. pada di mana ya sekarang?? :(

september 2003, fajar yang njepret..

desember 2003, the first ever picture of me snapped by Jokoustik :D

di primanet Jl. galunggung Malang, sebelum ganti fadi fresnet, tahun 2004

I married my best friend... hehehehehe

status FB saya barusan..

you don't have to

me!!!!!!

status GEJE (tapi maksudnya jelas kok) saya: "buat old friend yang menyebalkan!!! we play a different game, even we're on the same one, we're on the different level.. I already won.. weeeee....!!! :p :p :p" I always (have been) trying to avoid fight through FB, tapi seseorang udah bener2 bikin saya tersinggung.. tapi, just forget it, act hard with keyboard, it's wasting my time.. saran saya buat dia, you don't like me?? you best get a map, get your car, drive to hell!!! have a nice trip sista...!!! tapi, marah itu'kan temennya setan.. gak mau ah.. astaghfirullah.. :D sebelum matiin (gak shut down si, cuma di-stand by, biasa, males kalo booting kelamaan, udah gitu kalo lupa milih OS suka nyasar ke OS yang gak akrab) saya sempet UD status lagi.. "you know what, you just need to shut up, and do your dishes!! :p" ayo ucap Astaghfirullahaladzim... ^^V (sign off until feeling better)

Gimme a Break!!

such a pressuring saturday.. I'm freaking tired, and depressed and all I wanna do now is laying on my bed and close my eyes.. I should have fall asleep now, but I haven't.. so many things that depress me a lot lately.. I've been trying to deal with them and just think "suck it up!!" but I just can't.. those things are so annoying and fill in my mind full of thoughts and trunks..

first thing is about the nanny I really wanna hire and I still don't get any jackpot until now.. it's like really hard to find a jobless person and need to get hired.. c'mon, I really need help.. I'm no longer at the top of the mess and can say such thing "ooo I don't even remember what all the fuss is about.." I'm a normal person with normal body and the most important is I don't wanna be sick anymore.. the 2nd thing is about some people I never met before and they called themselves "***** member" (salah satu organisasi masyarakat di Balikpapan) ya udahlah, they don't matter anymore, problem with them is completely clear and solved, and the case closed.. fiuuuh.. ^^ thing #3 is about ---> wah, curhatnya disambi ngemong alip, jadi lupa beberapa hal lain yang mo saya omongin di sini.. =) ya udah de, saya mau nggosok dulu.. doakan saya ya.. xo

thankfulness (subhanallah alhamdulillah)

first, I would like to say, that my life isn't perfect but I thank God for everything I've gained in my life.. I'm blessed to have a fantastic family and wonderful life.. I have a great husband, and raise a wonderful child.. for me, my family now is the greatest thing ever.. and without Allah's permission I won't gained anything that I have today.. sometimes, as a normal person, I feel so afraid to lose everything that I have now.. but I believe a thing, that Allah never gave a trial that is too great to be solved.. so I will just do my part to be a better person I could be in my life as a wife and mother and daughter and daughter/sister in-law.. thank God for everything, Subhanallah wabihamdihi Subhanallahil Adzim.. I want the whole world to know that only Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala is The Creator of the universe and all of things He likes.. and everything that happens in our life is only by Allah's permission.. XO

the facts

some things about me you don't need to know...

binatang yang paling saya takutin (selain binatang buas) is, cockroach.. kalo orang lain mungkin cuma jijik ya, tapi kalo saya bener2 takut kecoa..

saya suka kucing, dari saya kecil sampe terakhir di Tanjung, saya udah miara lebih dari 10 ekor kucing.. beberapa nama kucing saya yang saya masih inget: putih (mamanya bagong), bagong, pus (gak saya kasi nama, keduluan biasa dipanggil pus), kampret, beno, mama kucing, putih, blaster, orvil, ceri, bubble, dan yang terakhir di Tanjung, si scale.. seinget saya masih ada beberapa kucing lain yang saya rawat, tapi kurang populer..

saya pernah miara tikus putih, awal2 miara lucu banget, tapi lama2 kewalahan, anaknya sampe puluhan.. karena gak niat ternak, cuma pengen miara aja.. akhirnya tikus2nya dilepas dari kandangnya dan jadi sasaran empuk kucing saya buat dikejar2.. jadi kayak tom and jerry.. :D

saya gak doyan durian, permen rasa durian, bubur aroma durian dan aneka makanan olahan durian.. saya juga gak doyan aneka tape, tapi khusus tape digoreng pake tepung saya doyan, tapi tepungnya aja yang saya makan, tapenya dibuang.. sama aja ya..?? :D

saya suka nyanyi, terutama kalo lagi di kamar mandi..

grup musik favorit saya adalah the cranberries.. saya sebenernya cenderung suka lagu2 tertentu, bukan yang suka lagu2 di satu album gitu.. misalnya lagunya sheila on 7, cuma beberapa lagu aja yang saya suka dan saya dengerin, atau lagunya armada "cinta itu buta" ya itu satu2nya lagunya armada yang saya dengerin.. tapi khusus the cranberries, saya suka semua, walaupun saya gak apal album2 mereka.. tapi setelah, dolores o'riordan keluar dari cranberries, saya mutusin untuk gak mengidolakan the cranberries lagi.. :D

saya gak memiliki warna favorit.. dulu pernah declared, that my favorite color was blue, tapi kayaknya nggak juga de, soalnya barang2 saya malah kebanyakan berwarna pink.. tapi gak berarti saya suka warna pink, kebetulan aja yang lucu yang warnanya pink..

saya juga gak punya makanan favorit.. kalo lagi di malang biasanya saya pengen makan nasi briyani di martabak agung, atau soto daging galunggung, tapi itu juga kalo sempet aja, kalo gak sempet mampir ya biasa aja.. tapi kalo lagi ke mcD saya biasa pesan fillet o'fish, does it mean, it's my favorite food?? I don't think so..

saya gak bisa tidur kalo gak ada suami saya di sebelah saya..

saya pengen banget punya kamera "beneran" walaupun saya tau saya tidak membutuhkannya..

saya gak bisa naik sepeda, tapi saya bisa bawa motor dan sampe sekarang saya gak berani bawa motor di jalan raya.. hehehe

saya dulu gaptek banget, dan suami saya hi-tech banget, jadi kalo sekarang saya tau hal2 yang berbau2 IT, itu karena ditularin pacar saya yang kemudian jadi suami saya.. xo

saya tidak menyukai nama saya.. andai diijinin suami saya, saya pasti udah ke pengadilan untuk berganti nama.. sayang, setitik pun suami saya gak pernah bolehin saya ngelakuin itu, dan menurut dia ide mengganti nama, adalah ide yang diada2..

husband away

being away from my husband for 4 days means, it's time to set some goals for myself.. honestly, I was freaking bored last night, was being without him, and my internet connection was down until this morning..my husband's going out of town (to Banjarbaru and Tanjung) to handle some works.. and he actually wanted to take us (me and our son) with him.. it's more fun for him to have us with him anywhere, even when he's working..

now, I feel lil funk, I don't know why.. feel strange, and I just want him to get home asap.. and, I hate feel lonely, even though I know how to overcome loneliness when he's not here with me.. like I had said, all I need to do is set some goals for myself, but.. what goals?? I just took my son and his cousin to McD, we ate, I ordered my favorite menu, but it didn't work so much.. I top up my internet credit this morning, and I got my internet connection speed is so fast now, just like it should be, but, it's just the same, doesn't cheer me that much.. I'm just thinking about if next time he should be on a trip again, I will just go with him no matter what.. and I don't trust myself anymore, when I think I know what I should do when my husband is away, it's a shit.. I'm freaking bored, went ape-shit and fight against my own stupid thoughts about what he's doing there.. stupid and crazy..

long for bedroom concert ala Papa Alif.. :(

things from the old man

he don't have much a pair of hard hands..

his hands are not as strong as before..

his greasy hands are the life he demanded..

he's not in need in direction,

he just chose his own path..

and by the way he walked and worked..

he teaches, life is not about winning..

it's all about believing..

*terinspirasi dari tukang bakso yang lewat rumah tiap jam 11 malem, orangnya udah tua banget dan kurus* T__T

the trunk and thoughts "the glass was half empty"

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and how it's changed.. I definitely have a more pessimistic way of looking at things.. I mean, it's about when we lived in Tanjung.. I think I was a very negative person when we were there.. I realized I did that, and anytime I remember that I stop myself.. ok, I'm quitting negative, I don't wanna be a negative person in my day to day life, because I know thing, I'm not a negative person.. I have a great life with my husband that I have now.. and... whoah!! I think things are getting better every year for us.. I was ultra happy, when my beloved husband got a new promising job here.. sooo.. thing is.. my life is good.. I'm trying to forget my past and the people or stupid moron ex hahahahaha that did me wrong and just move on with my life.. and now, I just wanna be more and more optimistic and happy person, anyway, I do have a lot thing to be happy for..

things that cheer me up and help me to remember how great my life is: 1. I have the greatest husband in the world 2. we have moved back to Balikpapan, eastern coast city that I love alot.. 3. our little chief is getting his first day at school soon.. 4. my inlaws here are good people, and they love me as well.. 5. I live in my inlaws's house that rarely have a problem.. 6. I'm not deprived of anything I need such as food, transportation, money, etc.. 7. I get to travel more often than most..

jalan2 terus with whole fam.. :D

it's time to think happy thoughts!! :)

alif ke Tanjung

aduh, baru ini aku pisah ama my babyboy, kalo sekadar ke samarinda si gak papa, kan gak nginep, tapi yang sekarang, ke tanjung, paling cepet pulang hari minggu.. dan baru kali ini juga aku ngerasa kangen buanget ama anakku, oya, pastinya selain pengalaman alip ilang di matos pas pulang ke malang kemaren.. 15 menit terpanjang in my life ever..

ini ni arti quote, you don't know what you got, until it's gone.. kalo ada aku omel2in, tapi ya gak ngomel2 yang gak ada sebabnya si, biasanya aku suka jengkel ama alip kalo dia merengek2 nangis2, ngambek tapi gak jelas apa yang diminta.. terus juga kalo dia gak mau makan.. wah, kangen banget denger dia mama2, yang minta digarukin punggungnya, pantatnya.. adaaaaa aja yang gatel.. terus juga minta dipok2in pantatnya kalo mo tidur.. Papanya belum pulang kerja ni, ntar kalo gak ada alip, Papa pasti juga kangen banget.. biasanya Papanya yang nyuapin makan malamnya.. nanti biar nyuapin aku aja hahaha.. tapi, look at the bright side, tar malam untuk pertama kalinya sejak alip lahir, aku bisa berduaan aja ama suamiku, bisa "ngapa2in" tanpa takut alipnya bangun ahahahay.. so, kayaknya aku gak perlu terlalu sedih, toh alip sama utinya, yang jelas utinya jauh lebih telaten ngurusin alip daripada ayas yang mamanya sendiri.. apalagi ada rangga dan mamanya rangga juga yang ikut.. alip si dari tadi udah sumringah, malah dia yang gak sabar pengen cepet2 berangkat..

alif dan rangga

ya Allah, lindungilah semua orang yang aku sayangi ya Allah.. amiin...

the story of my first orphanage adventure

gak berarti ini pertama kali kami sedekah si, hahaha (takut riya') maksudnya ini pertama kali dalam hidupku aku dateng sendiri ke panti asuhan dan nyerahin sendiri kinda some good materials yang gak perlu aku sebutin di sini..

lokasi panti asuhan yang sengaja kami datengin emang yang agak di pinggiran kota Balikpapan, tepatnya di KM 8 desa Batu Ampar, Balikpapan Utara, udah gitu jalannya belum semua diaspal, apapun de, Lillahita'ala, hanya karena Allah SWT.. apalagi pas suamiku liat sendiri anak pantinya makan cuma pake kentang doang, pas ditanya dia bilang "adanya cuma ini, Om" omg.. kasiannya..

asrama anak laki2..

aku emang agak males ribet, apa2 'kan bisa transfer ke dompet dhuafa atau bmh, jadi gak pernah liat sendiri keadaan anak2 yatim piatu di panti asuhan.. kalo udah liat sendiri gini rasanya aku belum berbuat apa2 buat anak2 yang kurang beruntung itu.. whatsoever de, like I had said, kami meniatkan semuanya hanya karena Allah SWT, gak mo pamer atau apapun, dan semoga setelah yang pertama ini, kami akan rutin dateng ke panti asuhan buat berbagi sekadarnya.. insyaallah..

senengnya anak2 ini pas difoto =D

my own kind adventure

If nutrilon's new tag-line was "life is an adventure", aku udah bikin juga pas moved to Tanjung on February 2010, I said on my FB "real adventure is living with my husband" ternyata so it is.. it's like I discovered new things I never felt, never smelt, never learned, never heard before since I've been with him.. not so much later, on 28 January, it's kinda gonna be our 7th anniversary.. wow, it's been 7 years I "knew" this guy.. so many sweet stories about both of us to tell.. maybe I'd write about it all down one day..

Two days ago, on Monday, I took that as my another vacation.. technically that wasn't any vacation at all, that was just another road-trip back to Tanjung.. a different kind of adventure of ours.. my husband's brother driven us, still the same road, the same oges gandul like usual.. I actually planned on getting another next vacation to Martapura, but it looked like kinda impossible for this time because we had my father in-law with us.. he had to get back to Balikpapan as soon as he can after he got us here.. hmm.. I can't wait for the next time they promised us to get here again and get some "another more amazing' vacation around South Kalimantan, hopefully, it's gonna be next month.. :D

Nasi Gandul Kuaro

di perbatasan Kalsel-Kaltim

sate itik Julak Anang

well, here I go again, from where I'm sitting, waiting for him to get home, typing "I don't have anything else better to do than FB and blogging", it's my own kind adventure, taking care of my "happily ever after" man, cook his food, wash his dishes, take care of his son, wash his clothes, and watch him doing his stuff and playing guitar.. the most simple adventure with highest honor in my religion, be a wife and mother.. I don't know whether I'm a good wife or bad one, he just loved me for what I am.. I never stop thanking Allah for gave me him.. and I never will stop asking Allah for forgiveness and blessing for our love and marriage and our whole families..

tour de home

let me say, I'm like a tourist in my home.. I wonder about anything has changed here.. feels like yesterday I just confirmed our tickets to Malang.. and now, I only have 3 days left here.. it always happened all the time, time is running when we're enjoying things..

things are so amazing here.. my house, my old school.. everyone,everything.. I always love my hometown and everything in it, always have and always will.. and for the next 12 months, they're only thing I'm gonna miss everyday.. but, hey, my husband will get his first training in Jakarta on January, whew!! :D I'll get home again..

things I'm gonna miss about my home

beloved mom

things I love this month

like I had said on my FB status this morning, there are things I've come to love since I've been longing about home.. they are homes, road-trips, vacations, family, airports, roads, and views during the long travel.. yes, they sounded so refreshing, exciting and I'm sure they're gonna be amazing.. so I just can't wait for my husband to get home and pack more stuff with him..

I'll be missing my small rent house here.. but, I'll be back here doing blog again for the next 2 weeks.. here are things I'm gonna miss when I'm not here, my pc, my dirty carpet, my dirty bed sheet (it's washed off ^^), my stinky bolsters, my pillows.. and everything smelt like Tanjung.. :)

some snapshots of Rumah Anggrek

now-vember, the exciting month

at least, that's what I'm feeling.. being excited to have everything smells like days off of work, vacation, road-trip, hometown and whole family.. besides the month itself is full of spirits and sweetness things.. it comes from the deep down inside of me, I feel so open-hearted, open-minded, no more judging over things.. I feel like receive things have happened, let go things I can't tie together..

sky as a metaphor of mind and spirit

it's true a friend's quotation "you can do everything, when you understand" I think really deep about these words, being ihlas, accepting what's happened.. the only thing I need to do to let go of thing is understanding.. well, hopefully everybody will feel the same like I do now.. find something sweet and help us get through rough days.. better life, better days ahead of us all... :) clinicoustic

to be inspiring

like mr. Obama kali.. well I actually just "liked" him.. I always thought he's just the same American, or Ameri-can't.. tapi first impression not always right, right? Obama's truly wonderful speech was so impressive and inspiring.. I was impressed then.. and I hope those good words he's spoken about Indonesia really came from his heart.. I'm not actually talking about "Obama in Indonesia" (still talking about him.. *what a wack!!*), but since I've listened his speech and watched how he acted during his staying in Indonesia, it really gets my opinion about something.. how to be so inspiring and impressive..?? I don't really see something special about this mr. Obama, he's just an ordinary people.. the only special thing about him was, he ever lived in Indonesia and his inspirational life story (admitting -_-").. it's that simple, wants to be impressive and be inspiring? tonton aja Mario Teguh Golden Ways, be impressed, be inspired then.. LOL seriously, that is one of my mom in-law's favorite tv show.. tp aku jg have some tips to do if you wanna be some kinda impressive person.. first, just be yourself, as long as you do things just for the right reasons.. mean what you say, say what you mean, be bold, be ambitious!! then, be gentle, be courteous, be kind, never underestimate other persons, love everyone, respect people as much as you expect others do back to you.. when you failed at your first, believe in second chance.. never give up, always be excited to face the world.. just live life positively, be a better person than you were yesterday, doing thing better, enrich your life.. I believe it wouldn't be too hard to do as long as you believe in yourself.. so, do your best, be your best, be an inspiration for people around you.. clinicoustic

wondrous mystical mind

I ever wished to rise...

ah, dream!!

they're up there..

pretty clouds of my cold dreary day..

they come floating into my mind..

no longer to carry rain and storm..

but to add color to my sky...

trees and rivers, grass of the mountain..

clouds and winds, stars and the sky..

they leave impression of the soul of mine..

they teach me lessons of life than I've ever learned before..

sickness and broken heart,

like the dark heavy clouds in the sky..

I just need to let the water off to make it relieved..

and the new sun will be shining so bright..

I know there are so many paths to the top of life..

but I believe, one day no more thing will ever stop me

from achieving my goal..

nothing on earth ever..

mountains and hills will be low..

the rough places will be straight..

I've learned..

that it's not the problems I defeat but myself..

it's not any mountain I conquer but my own passion..

and tomorrow will be my day..

when I see that mountain waiting..

I'll just get on my way...

clinicoustic

the grass's mellow lullaby

the silence here stands beside me, it guides me.. there was something about being lonely for me.. I'm making sense of it.. thing I can't be with it together.. thing I've lost, or thing I'll never have.. I like to think of flowers, grass and trees.. they sing me a lullaby.. I'm laying on the grass.. through the night, with a light from above.. and feel my dream I dream alone.. realize it, it was just a dream.. grass is always a wonderful metaphor for loneliness.. being alone, kissed by the rain.. let it wash away my pain.. the terrible winds sweep away my emptiness.. things in my life appear and disappear.. they remind me that I'm not completed in myself.. I don't want to be alone.. don't wanna be left alone.. all I understand, grass, wind and the sky.. grass never stop playing their song for me.. wind blows my sickness away from me.. and, I'll keep my mind as bright and clear as the sky.. loneliness spurs me to find something to live for.. it makes me resign to it, and get great enough thing to die for.. clinicoustic

simplify your life, don't complicate it!!

Tadi pagi tau2 pengen update status begitu di FB.. Sederhanakan hidupmu, jangan dibuat rumit..!! Ternyata bagus juga kalo mau ditelaah maksudnya.. Padahal kalimat itu tadi cuma lewat gitu aja.. Menyederhanakan semua hal, kalau bisa.. Everything should be as simple as it is.. But simplify things never been that easy, not that simple.. Sometimes I feel my life just became too complex.. There are no simple answer, and I don't have any courage to do what I think right, and what I think right is not always morally right.. I don't know exactly what it is.. Life is pretty simple, but we made it complicated.. But, I think complication in life made us stronger, wiser.. Who is wise?? My husband.. He is amazing, powerful, he brings a simple happiness and harmony in our life he leads.. I made his life complicated and harder sometimes.. But, it's no big deal for him.. Makasi my hubby yang baik dan selalu maafin aku ini (my husband pretty good at manage his anger and govern his passions or his temper).. ^^ And, live here in Tanjung Tabalong.. Feels so long away from home, dari keluarga, ya keluargaku ya keluarga suami, kadang jadi beban buat aku.. Pokoknya hidup mandiri di sini.. Maklum di Malang dan Balikpapan terbiasa dengan "bantuan2" dan fasilitas2, terutama di Balikpapan ya.. Tapi ya udah, orang tinggal di sini, mau2 gak mau ya harus dinikmatin, simplify it, daripada stres. Tapi emang gak gampang, apalagi kalo suami udah berangkat kerja.. Walaupun semua yang aku butuhin ada di sini, tapi tetep aja kangen keluarga..

#prayforindonesia, Tag di Twitter untuk Trending Bencana Alam Indonesia

Lagi2 Indonesia being hit by deadly natural disasters, flood in Jakarta, earthquake and tsunami in Mentawai West Sumatra and mount volcano eruption in Central Java.. Omigod, what have happened with my country?? The eruption of Mount Merapi killed at least 18 people.. Sementara gempa dan tsunami di Mentawai killed at least 113 people and 500 people are still missing.. Padahal sebelum itu, di Wasior Papua juga terjadi bencana land slide that killed more than 200 people.. Banjir di Jakarta juga memakan korban jiwa..

Bencana alam di Indonesia ini rupanya jadi world trending topic di jejaring sosial twitter dan facebook mungkin (aku tahunya cuma di twitter), sejumlah celebrities send well wishes to Indonesia following these natural disasters.. Mereka menggunakan tag #prayforindonesia untuk menunjukkan simpati dan keprihatinan mereka kepada para korban.. Yang aku lihat tweet dari Justin Bieber yang diRetweet sama Johnny Depp, terus Tom Cruise, Joe Jonas, dan Joel Madden..

Aku copas aja dari twitterku (aku nganggur kok).. ^^V @JoelMadden: Indonesia I love you be strong #prayforindonesia

RT @nicolerichie: RT @JoelMadden: Indonesia I love you be strong #prayforindonesia @joejonas #prayforindonesia so sad @TomCruise: Our hearts go out to the people of Merapi & Jakarta Indonesia http://ping.fm/qnDfC @justinbieber

just found out about the earthquake in Indonesia. everyone please pray for the people there. #prayforindonesia @johnnydepp

just found out about the earthquake.. everyone please pray for the people there. #prayforindonesia

Walaupun ada juga yang pakai tag ini buat ngolok2 tapi ya udah semua balik ke hati masing2.. So, everyone is going to mourn and may God bless all the victim's soul, so let's just #prayforindonesia ..